Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Dear god my vagina.
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