He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
