When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
