do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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