therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
