I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
