you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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