YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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