she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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