Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
