Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Randomize
