Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
my being single is dangerous.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
