Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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