How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize