I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
