Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
