I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
