Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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