I need help removing her.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
