No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
