S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize