quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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