I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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