put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize