I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I feel great
I just peed on a car
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
