i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
