didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
