So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
