We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize