dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
