i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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