Fine. I'll sleep in my office
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
