Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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