Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize