My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
