Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
