Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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