the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
