he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
