My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
