no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
My liver is preforming stress tests.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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