This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
