If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
