have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Randomize
