bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
