Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Found your dick twin last night
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
