Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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