i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
