Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
