dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
