Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
