just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
