Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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