so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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