I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize