im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
