Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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