so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
