I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
