I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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