I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
