allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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