Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
