What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
So vagazzling was a success
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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