We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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