Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
