you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I can feel your judgement through the phone
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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