"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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