I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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