No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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