please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
