i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
