Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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