Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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