I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
