She's JV to your varsity
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
