she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
