So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
