Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
