I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
