He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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