My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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