the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Success! We fucked roommates!
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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