you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
