Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
We are all done wearing pants today
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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