at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
