that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Randomize
