We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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