bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
